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EU Language Regulation
(taken from the Internet and slightly adapted)

Amsterdam. The European Union commissioners have announced that at the end of their two-day meeting, held with the Prime Ministers of all European countries in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other option.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government of Great Britain conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants and foreigners will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be grown publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f'. This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to al ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrinun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.