Inside Marketing Hierarchy

The marketing hierarchy is a very complex social structure, which scientists so far have failed to fully understand. Yet it is fundamental to everybody dealing with marketers in some way or another (eg, agencies) to understand this structure in order to find out with whom you should be having lunch.

To this end, Inside Insight has spoken to Mr. Kornfeld, an Austrian marketer, who has conducted years of intensive scientific studies, thorough research and careful analysis, to finally reveal the very nature and structure of the marketing hierarchy.

In a nutshell, his findings can be summarized in what will come to be known as 'Kornfeld's Law Of The Reciprocity Of The Marketing Organisation':

"The higher a rank of someone in a marketing hierarchy, the less he understands anything useful about it."

To shed some light on this mystery, Inside Insight is proud to present the main findings on a typical marketing hierarchy (sorted by rank, from top to bottom), including some helpful tips by Mr. Kornfeld on how to best deal with it:

Chairman's wife: She is on the very top of the marketing hierarchy (which is a little known and highly secret fact). Normally it is she who decides whether a product should be launched or not. Highly sensitive to wrong colors. Handle with care. Tip: If your chairman often has "to sleep about it" you can rest assured that your company is one of this 'chairman's wife' companies. In this case, make sure she likes your product should you want to succeed. Occasionally sending flowers helps.

Chairman: Officially the head of the company and therefore, in the end, also of the marketing department. The air is thin at the top, and so sometimes seem brain cells. Has normally not the slightest clue about marketing, but that doesn't stop him from rejecting your advertising or forcing in a particular shade of blue on your packaging. Secretly consults his wife, or his dog. Often refers to the way marketing was done when he was Brand Manager, in the early 1920s. Still thinks that Kotler is relevant.

Marketing Director: Member of the Board responsible for marketing. Has obviously successfully avoided introducing any new initiatives or products whatsoever, therefore preventing failure and hence ensuring being moved up the corporate ladder. Obviously widely liked, given the daily amount of love letters from agencies in his mailbox. Spends his time either at war with the sales director or in expensive hotels with agencies.

Director of Marketing: Deceptively similar to the Marketing Director, but not on the Board of Directors. In marketing terms a problem child or, according to the matrix of the Boston Consulting Group, a question mark. Takes himself rather seriously, but is the only one to do so. Tip: Show appreciation of his comments and ignore them completely.

Marketing Manager: Does exactly the same things as the Product Group Manager (see below), but is internally regarded as a high-flyer (for example, because he has a good hand in choosing just the packaging colour that the chairman's wife likes) and consequently earns substantially more money -- and has a more sexy job title. In terms of the BCG matrix a star. Most likely to leave the company within one or two years.

Product Group Manager: responsible for a whole range of products, with several Brand Managers (referred to as "slaves") working for him. Normally gets a product group that he wasn't Brand Manager for and does therefore not know anything useful about it. Obviously not a high-flyer, because he would have been promoted to Marketing Manager otherwise.

Senior Brand Manager: someone who is too long in the company to be just simple Brand Manager, but not good enough to be promoted to Product Group Manager (probably often chooses the wrong colors).

Brand Manager: the actual star in the organization. Thinks that his brand is the center of the universe and that he is the actual chairman of the brand. Spends even his vacation thinking about new strategies, innovative concepts, and how to sack the agency.

Junior Brand Manager: helps the Brand Manager with thinking about new strategies, innovative concepts, and how to sack the agency.

Assistant Brand Manager: The one who actually does the work and the only one who knows anything about trivia things like last weeks' sales or SKU profitability. The only one to show up at agency dinner parties, usually only to leave after the free dinner buffet.

Marketing Trainee: One who just finished his marketing studies, only to find out that Kotler apparently lived in a different century, on a different planet, or both. Uses his job title -- without the 'trainee' bit -- to impress girls at dinner parties. Actually thinks that creative agencies are to be creative. Usually calculates in movie tickets to get a grip on the numbers, eg "This production budget is worth 12.800 movie tickets. Wow!" Dreams about becoming Junior Brand Manager to help thinking about new strategies, innovative concepts, and how to sack the agency.